Leadership 101, Leadership for everyone
What’s your go-to leadership style? Are you the ‘Cool Coach’ who motivates with positivity, the ‘Strategic Thinker’ who plans every move, or maybe the ‘Collaborative Captain’ who thrives on teamwork and rallies people? No matter your style, today we're breaking down the basics of leadership and showing you how to harness your unique approach to lead at work, in your personal life, with your family, and friends—without the stress. Let’s get started!
When most people think about leaders, images of characters like Harvey Specter from Suits or Rupert Murdoch probably pop into their heads—serious, high-powered men, sitting in fancy boardrooms. Or someone from a corporate environment that has a very high level job title in general like Chief Executive or Head of, or Senior Regional Director of Development or Vice President of Something something. Sure, those titles come with their own set of responsibilities and leadership skills, but they’re far from what leadership truly is. In reality, leadership is accessible to everyone.
We all have some sort of leadership influence or practice in our daily lives and we don’t even know it. Hear me out and please correct me if I’m wrong - but do you know someone who always has the need to tell the people around them how to do things? Do you know someone who always prefers to do things themselves rather than ask for help? Do you know someone who always books the restaurant for the group or plans the trips and schedules? Do you know someone who’s a dreamer, having their head in the clouds? Do you know someone who’s very A-type personality, they have to have everything planned to to T? And I can keep going with the list until the end of time.
If you recognised some of the people in your life that fit into one or multiple questions of the above or maybe it’s even applicable for yourself, then what you’re witnessing is a very raw leadership style, that wasn’t developed and at times it can get a tad annoying because there’s a lack of knowledge of their pros and cons in their native leadership style, and how to balance it with the other styles.
A good leader is aware of their strengths and weaknesses, but a great leader is aware of their native leadership skills and learns how to develop other leadership styles and skills to be a fully rounded leader and human.
In total there are 6 widely recognized leadership styles, each of them with their pros and cons, none of them are perfect but they all have a time and a place to be used and practiced.
Visionary / Authoritative / Inspirational / Transformational
Directive / Autocratic / Authoritarian / Coercive
Pacesetting
Affiliative / Harmonious
Democratic / Participative / Inclusive
Coaching
We’ll be going into each of them in details, so please follow along if you want to find out more.
As a heads up most of us naturally lean into one or two of these styles in their raw form, and the trick is to know how to find your way to the rest, to utilise all 6, but tailoring them to fit your unique touch and tone of voice.
And as a caveat I’ll quote one of my favourite authors Jim Collins - who wisely said in one of his books to “Cultivate your own style; don’t try to be someone you’re not, or take on a style that doesn’t fit”, what we mean by that is what works for one leader might look different for another, and that’s okay!
1.Visionary / Authoritative / Inspirational / Transformational
WHO: It’s the person that is day dreaming and always with their head in their clouds, looking at the world through a different lens. Seeing the bigger picture without going into the details.
Pros:
It can help the team or people around them understand how the day-to-day tasks contribute to a greater purpose
Paints the bigger picture and brings everyone along with them
Inspires people to work towards the shared vision and mission with creativity
Cons:
Can overwhelm people or the team without a plan with milestones that will show the road to the big ambitious picture
Can create confusion towards how we get there. You might think that’s a pretty picture but there’s no way we can achieve that
Usability:
“particularly useful during times of change or uncertainty” - HBR
E.g When there’s a new change such as moving to a new city, having a new C-level management in a company that changed direction. If you need to have a change in your family by moving cities or countries and you can paint a picture of what you’d do as a family, what kind of food they can have, what kind of activities and things they can experience.
2. Directive / Autocratic / Authoritarian
WHO: The go-getters who love schedules and have a clear set of steps that have to be followed, with no real room for creativity and flexibility. A more rigid type of person.
Pros:
Gives clear instructions of what needs to happen when
You know what to expect of them
They will say what they will do and do what they say
Cons:
Top-down decision making - can feel like you’re always being told what to do
It can be a “Do what I say” attitude
No room and questions or collaboration
It can lead to an element Fear setting -> you know there WILL be consequences
Usability:
It’s great in Emergency situations that require immediate mediation and decision making. It’s great when execution needs to happen in a time sensitive manner
E.g When the twin towers were going down and there was no time to get more information, when there’s a severity 1 happening, when there’s a life of death situation someone absolutely needs to take that role on and help mitigate and manage the situationThis style is often trained especially in military environments. When there’s a life or death situation they can’t afford to have a fight or flight response kick in, so they are trained how to take charge of the situation and tell people what to do.
3. Pacesetting
WHO: The do-it-yourselfers who strive for excellence and set high standards. Someone that always wants to do things themselves even if they are running themselves in the ground, someone that thinks they can do it better than anyone else, so let’s say you have a task to do and I’ll take a basic lifestyle example like clean a plate, they would wash it afterwards as well even if you’ve already done it. Naturally they have a very hard time to let go of things and delegate or ask for help. A lot of the time it manifests in “I’ll do it”.
Pros:
Focuses on high standards, always striving for excellence, the bar is usually set high at work or at home, which is great for wanting to have great people around you that always want to improve
The expectation is to get things done fast and perfect
Cons:
Can lead quickly to burnout if held for a long period of time
Can set unrealistic standards which sets the team up for failure and can rub people the wrong way
Demotivates people, as the leader tends to end up doing things themselves as it’s “better” and “quicker”, so it gives a sense of why bother if they will do it anyway
Usability:
Very Specific cases when a group or a team requires strict execution with little room for error
E.g legal teams, sensitive military operations. There are very few cases in which this style will serve you well. It’s great to set the bar high with you are everyone else and strive for excellence, however there needs to be also room for failure and mistakes to be able to learn and grow.
4. Affiliative / Harmonious
WHO: The people person, someone who wants to have a harmonious relationship with everyone - at work or at home, that at times can avoid conflict, the focus is on friendship and teams, people around them in general, the general sense is that People always come first.
Pros:
It creates a safe space for people around and if you work in teams, it can help the team to open up
Focuses on camaraderie and a supportive environment
Creates a sense of belonging and motivates people to work together towards common goals. When back to office policies started to pop up, a popular motivator was that you get to see the people that you liked and work together in person
Cons:
It can give a fake sense of “We’re all friends here” - can blur the boundaries between roles and responsibilities. If it doesn’t come from an authentic place it can be damaging to the people around and leads to losing trust.
Can become toxic if it’s not genuine
HBR mentioned that “It may not provide sufficient feedback to address performance issues or deal with complex challenges” so fairness needs to be top of mind
Usability:
Any grouping of people working towards a mission or goal.
Positive company culture, team sports, working groups aka community projects
E.g football team, Women support group, meetup, travel groupWorks best in times when people need to come together and have a harmonious vibe
5.Democratic / Participative / Inclusive
WHO: The collaborators who always seek input. The person that always includes others in a decision making process. That friend that will say - what do you think? When experiencing this style you feel heard and included, you feel like your voice matters and there’s a real sense of togetherness.
Pros:
“We’re in this together”
Everyone feels heard and that they matter
HBR mentioned that this style would be “Empowering your team to have a voice in decision-making”
The decision is based on everyone’s input and feedback, but the majority wins
Inclusive, generating diverse ideas and perspectives
Cons:
Not ideal for junior teams or unskilled teams. Think about it like this. If you ask a 5 year old what they want to breakfast or dinner chances are they want chocolate or something sweet so being truly democratic it will backfire, and it’s the same when someone is at the beginning of their career and it’s for a good reason as they don’t have enough experience yet to be more autonomous
It can setup people for failure if there’s a lack of information
People can get lost without an action plan in place. It’s like an infinite loop of “what do you think, but what do you think?” and there’s never a call to action because no one wants to take a lead to get things started.
Usability:
One of the more successful leadership styles that can be used for any grouping of people that come together to solve a problem or achieve a team mission / goal
Not fit for emergencies or time sensitive situations when there’s no time to include everyone in the conversation. In that case someone just needs to take a decision and everyone else needs to roll with it
6. Coaching - our last leadership style and one of the newer leadership style
WHO: The people that have the tendencies to tell how to do things, walking you through every step. I’m sure you noticed a lot of dads have this style. And I do want to mention that there’s a big difference between being a mentor and a coach and we will have a full article dedicated to it, but in its raw form it can manifest as someone that will always just keep instructing you on how to do things. In a more refined and developed form, it comes in an environment that aims to guide through questions and support.
Pros:
Focuses on supporting and helping people develop further
Can be applied for anyone in any situation. You can coach your team at work or your friends, partner, etc.
Doesn’t require subject matter expertise -> anyone can be a coach for anything, it’s more about listening, understanding and asking the right questions, without leading the answer
Needs to come from an authentic place. You need to have a genuine interest in helping the person you’re coaching
Cons:
Not ideal for junior team members. Same example as asking a 5 year old what they want for breakfast
It can’t be rushed and most of the times it needs to have the right expectations set in place, as it can get frustrating to just be asked questions all the time, if you don’t understand what a coaching sessions looks like.
Usability:
Anyone can be a coach by helping their friends figure out their issue, brainstorm solutions, supporting a team through career development and growth or help out a spouse or partner to get to a conclusion or make a decision. It’s a very powerful skill and leadership style but it takes time and practice to master it
Some of the general coaching questions that I’d use would look something like:
What’s the current reality? What is the biggest challenge or gap that is holding you back right now? What would need to happen for you to walk away from this conversation thinking you have everything you need to start?(is it a workshop, is it a course, what is it?) What does good look like for you? What are the alternatives to your approach? What advice would you give a friend or colleague that is in a similar situation? Obviously the questions should be tailored to the conversation at hand, but the general questions can be a good starting point or to keep the conversation going.
Let us know which leadership style or styles you think are fitting for how you operate in life, or if you can tell which ones are fitting for your parents or manager, friends or siblings. Because I found is that once I learned about these styles I could tell how people around me operate and it was so much easier to communicate with them and work with them because I know what to expect and it’s almost like knowing people’s love languages. It’s the same, but more along the lines of operating languages. If one of my friends has a raw harmonious style, I know that I have to be the one taking the lead to start a difficult conversation because I know they will never bring it up.
If you recognize a leadership style in someone you know, give them a shoutout and share how they inspire you. It’s all about celebrating the diverse ways we lead every day.
Remember—great leadership starts with you. Start casual and keep going, keep growing!
